Truly Blessed Individual—Mark Ryder
October 13, 2004 changed my life forever. A semi-tractor trailer hit the vehicle I was driving at 75 mph.
The symptoms of a traumatic brain injury (TBI) started a couple of days after the accident. These included: constant headaches, body aches from head to foot, difficulty in understanding and explaining things, executive functioning skill deficits. Simple tasks such as balancing a checkbook, holding a meaningful conversation, and short term memory were a few of the deficits experienced. This resulted in confusion, sense of being overwhelmed (aka flooding), frustration, anger and a feeling of being alone and isolated-even when in a group. Accompanying this was a constant listlessness and fatigue.
Reflecting back on the accident of twenty plus years, allowed the recovery period to be put in three phases:
Beginning (0-1 year)
Middle (1-5 years)
Long term (5+ years)
Each phase has its own symptoms and coping strategies. All three phases have similar struggles and overlap each other. Progress can be erratic and the most common feature is falling down in each phase-along with getting up again after each fall. Getting up again and again is key to recovery.
The beginning phase was the most challenging and difficult. These were uncharted waters-especially not being able to do things, which were simple and easy, before the accident. The frustration, anger and helplessness were overwhelming-and it seemed would last forever.
During one speech therapy session, the speech therapist recommended going to a Traumatic Brain Injury support group. This was met with skepticism and resistance on my part. She simply and calmly said, “Give it a try”. Looking back on it……..it was a major breakthrough in the recovery process. I thank God for helping me swallow my pride and go to one. Twenty plus years later, I still continue to attend TBI support group meetings. They are the best thing that happened to both myself and the bride.The TBI meetings are a welcome oasis in the desert of recovery.
The second phase can best be summed up in the following: This was all brought out in the TBI meetings.
You are Not Alone, There is Hope
Use what you have, don’t try to use what you don’t have-Thanks Art (the Godfather)!
You need a PHD-Prayer, Humor, Determination
You are on your own ……but you are not alone…..read it again!
Failures ultimately lead to successes
Be RESILIENT….get up after a setback…..keep getting up, again and again, seven times seventy…
The third phase will last for the rest of your life.
It involves attending TBI meetings which will help in continually developing, and using, coping strategies in dealing with the daily struggles of living with a TBI.
The key elements are:
Acceptance….patience and prayer are very useful
Developing a sense of gratitude, thankfulness and appreciation for the “little things”
Pass on to others what is learned in the TBI groups…. and “works for me”
Repeat #3 for the “Newbies”……..those recently injured.
The medical care I received, from the ER doctors to the speech therapists (it’s a lot more than just speech!), physical therapists, and other medical specialists is most appreciated. I was extremely fortunate in this regard. I was blessed to have a supportive bride and family during this phase.
I still slip and fall in my recovery from a TBI, but have been able to develop a new more relaxed and focused life—especially the resilient part-it is a God send.
Lastly, I believe in miracles……having received one, over twenty years ago!
My Traumatic
Brain
Injury
has resulted in being a
Truly
Blessed
Individual
Hope this helps whoever reads this.
Godspeed
You can also read Mark’s brides version in the previous blog post!
Mark Ryder